Awareness and Compassion

Wow, October. 2020. The last quarter. We made it. And shit just keeps getting weirder!

But my yoga studio is flourishing, our community is growing, and it’s so exciting. Every day, new students. We just hit our one month anniversary in the new studio space on South Jennings Ave. We opened with eight classes per week and are now up to twelve. Two more will be added November 1st! Blessings of the pandemic. There are gifts everywhere within chaos. I am so grateful to have had my eyes wide open enough this year to see clearly where I needed to make my next move.

So, October. Fall is here. And wow, it’s beautiful in Texas. It’s so easy to forget in the heat of the summer how much I really love it here… then the temps drop, it’s crisp and fresh in the mornings, but still sunny and warm during the day… yes.

I honestly almost forgot to write this October letter – time is really starting to move more quickly.

I took an impromptu trip to LA last week to visit my brothers for a couple nights, got some good beach time in, fed my adventurous spirit a little. Gosh I just love airports, airplanes, and traveling. And the beach. Yes, the beach.

When I came back I didn’t expect to feel the way I did. It was like that trip was a sort of divine timing thing. I felt really emotional the weekend after. I cried. There was a full moon. I asked the Universe to show me whatever I needed to see. And I have been getting what I asked for.

The past handful of days or so I’ve been having some powerful new awareness coming in, it’s like whoa. Seeing patterns. Recognizing behavior that isn’t completely in alignment with my truth. I just keep telling the Universe ‘thank you.’ I close my eyes and say it and feel it and mean it. Gratitude. I asked for this. I felt ready. Thank goodness for my yoga practice for giving me the tool of self-compassion over the years – my ability to not beat myself up over it, but to hold myself, to hold my inner child, and love her through it. To be patient with my process and not feel like I need to be further along than I am. To be ok with where I am today.

You see, we don’t get to choose when we have aha moments. So we better be prepared with tools as to how we want to handle them if we don’t want to get tossed into the fire of guilt and shame.

This mantra came to me the other day, and I keep repeating it to myself:

I will be gentle
on myself
while navigating
this new awareness

It’s so easy to feel shame or guilt when we have realizations that reveal our humanness. Because that’s all it is y’all, our humanness. I am so grateful for the ability to be a conscious observer of my experience. The ability to witness without judgment is a gift. These are all reasons why my yoga practice is a non-negotiable. Because it gives me the growth I seek, it pushes me to be courageous, authentic, and true to who I am.

I am here. I am listening. I choose to love myself through this. I choose to stand in my power. Thank you, Universe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I love this shit. Healing in action. Growth, evolution. I’m all in. Show me where there is work to be done, and I am there.